Hammer of Shitbreaking
A mystical hammer created by the Goliaths. It is said it was created when a hulking hurler was boiled down in chicken stock with herb de Provence until it reached a sauce-like consistency, and was subsequently forged into a mystical hammer. It is capable of destroying any object with a few swift blows, regardless of how hard it is. It not only ignores hardness, but it applies a penalty to an object’s hardness equal to it’s current hardness while it is hitting it, and it has the magical ability to sunder even artifacts that could normally not be sundered. If wielded as a weapon, the DM will promptly kill you to prevent him from having to try and rope that shit in.