Evil Queen of the Elven Empire, and alleged Drag Queen (of the Elven Empire)


A tall, mannish looking elf wearing a hideous tan strappy number that looks like the sort of gear you would see on some bimbo starlet costarring in a low budget 80’s sci fi film.

Also, what’s with those shoulder-pads? Seriously, woman, are you trying to fly away or something?


Once just a throw-away iconic character from the Players Handbook, Mialee gained power in the Elven community through a combination of hard work, making appearances in every 3.5 supplement possible, and championing out and out racism through underground rallies.

She is now the acting queen of the Elves, and the Empress of the Elven Empire. She seeks to eliminate all other races by creating a plethora of Elven subraces that would make all other races mechanically obsolete. Currently, she is working on a spell to create a new type of elf that gains 1 additional skill point a level and a bonus feat on first level, which would allow her to replace humans altogether and thus overwhelm the worlds Atop the Table for all time.

Mialee was first encountered in Episode 4, when Karen accidentally burst into her tent while she was eating chocolate fondue and watching porn. Mistaking Karen for a gofer for the producers of Planar Idol, and Righteous for a gigolo, she did not slay the party. Instead, she chose to get involved with Dame Unagi’s plot to create a Planar Idol competition, which ultimately led to the downfall of the Resistance.

Mialee apparently fancies herself the White Witch of Narnia, offering Turkish Delight to those she wishes to ensnare, and turning her victims into stone statues before plopping them down in the courtyard of her flying castle.


Freaking Elves photoneater