David the Gnome

The last Gnome on the face of the Table



David the Gnome Swashbuckler 3/Fighter 7-”I can kick your ass, I know that.”

  • HP: 85
  • AC: 10 + 3 + 4 + 1 = 18
  • Speed: 20
  • Alignment: True Neutral “Though honestly it’s hard to tell these days. Can anyone really be TRULY Neutral?”

Ability Scores- As unmodified by equipment

  • STR: 14
  • DEX: 16
  • CON: 13
  • INT: 18
  • WIS: 16
  • CHA: 13

Attack Bonus and Attacks

  • BAB: +10/+5
  • GRP: +11
  • RNG: +12/+7

Saving Throws

  • Fort: 8 + 1 = +9
  • Ref: 3 + 3 +1 = +7
  • Will: 3 + 3 = +6

Feats: Weapon Focus (Rapier), Weapon Specialization (Rapier), Daring Warrior, Quick Draw, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Improved Initiative

Racial Features: As a Gnome. “You remember what a Gnome does, right?”

Skills: Spot +10, Listen +10, Search +8, Sense Motive +8, Balance +6, Bluff +5, Climb +6, Diplomacy +6, Escape Artist +8, Jump +17, Swim +5, Tumble +9, Use Rope +8, Handle Animal +3, Intimidate +3, Ride +8

Class Features:

  • Weapon Finesse
  • Grace +1 (bonus to Ref)
  • Insightful Strike
  • Dodge Bonus +1 (to AC when unarmored)

Weapon: Keen Rapier +1 Attack: +13/+7 Damage: 1d4+4 (If Insightful Striking, +3 damage) Crit: 15-20/x2 Weight: 2 lbs Type: Piercing Note: Keen Strike doesn’t work on it. 8,000gp

Equipment: Clothing, 3 sets (all the same), Backpack, Bedroll, Waterskin, Rations (Do we really need to keep track of these?), Lamp, Oil (Again.. do we need to keep track?), Pen, Paper (sheets), Small knife (1d2 damage), Bracers of Armor +4, Ring of Protection +1, Cloak of Resistance +1, Boots of Striding and Springing, Ring of Sustenance, Potions: 1 cat’s grace, 3 cure light wounds, 2 enlarge person

Gimmick: Racial Profiling—Once per session, David may gain the racial abilities of any Small humanoid race or Dwarf. In addition, he gets a constant +20 bonus to checks to look/sound like a Garden Gnome, a Dwarf, or a Halfling.


  • Age: 45 “Old enough for your mom.”
  • Hair Color: Grey
  • Eye Color: Hazel
  • Height: 3’5” “Tall enough to tell you need to work off some pounds.”
  • Weight: 45 lbs. “Heavy enough for you to think twice about punting.”
  • Native World: The Endless Expanse of Faeruns “Where Gnomes USED to live before the 3rd Edition changeover.”
  • Likes: Intelligent discussion (so rare these days), the ability to listen (again, rare), common sense (ugh.), a useful purpose (meh, so-so with this party, I’d say.)
  • Dislikes: People who hate gnomes, I guess. Also the opposites of my turn-ons: Poor speech, thick skulls, and gullibility. Also body odor. And elves who call me “David the Singular.”
  • Heroes: Rumpelstiltskin “Before he got all Leprechaun-y.”
  • Favorite Book: The Secret Book of Gnomes, AD&D Player’s Handbook “Where the real Gnomes used to be.”
  • Favorite TV Show: My old one, back on Nickelodeon
  • Deity: Garl Glittergold “No one else worships him, so there’s no real point.”

David has, for pretty much his entire life, been the only Gnome in the world. He blames Wizards for not making their racial abilities useful enough, except for the a-typical Gnome Illusionist. He hears stories of legions of illusionists making the other races think that Gnomes had a different use. This widely-believed trick was all dispelled, quite literally, when WotC introduced the Seeing Elves race in a long-lost supplement, who could pierce illusions with their All-Seeing sight. The Gnomes, outraged, waged war on the Seeing Elves, and since then both races are pretty much extinct.

David stands tall, or so he believes, because he didn’t take a single spellcasting class, despite his remarkable intelligence and quick wit. He instead wanted to prove to the dwarves that he wasn’t one of them—so instead of hefting a mighty axe…he opted for a rapier.

Wearing a bright red pointed hat, a blue jerkin, green pants, and brown curled shoes, David is not afraid to talk. Listening is another matter, depending on who he’s dealing with. He doesn’t get the joke about his clothes—he believes it’s the last vestige of the Gnome race. He misses AD&D, “back when Gnomes were actually better than Halflings in a lotta ways. Freaking Frodo screwed us Gnomes.”

Still, he isn’t on some sort of quest to redeem his race. He knows he’s the last one, so he’s not gonna try and repopulate. He just wants to live his life in relative peace. Fat chance of that when there’s dice rolling involved.

For those of you curious, David is not the REAL David the Gnome from television, but since all Gnomes tend to look alike (well, they used to), David follows in his more-famous predecessor’s footsteps.

David the Gnome

Freaking Elves AlacarLeoricar